Well I guess it's not an art block :/

I have to write about it, I have to share it with you. Many people have this problem at some point of their lives and dealt with it som...

I have to write about it, I have to share it with you.
Many people have this problem at some point
of their lives and dealt with it somehow - or not.

I'm disappointed and really mad at myself.
I'll try to explain why exactly...
When I was younger, I couldn't stop drawing.
I was sitting with a pencil and paper everywhere
and drawing all the time. Day without even 5 decent (in my opinion)
sketches was really rare for me, I used to spend all my time on that.
All other hobbies were my back ups for getting new ideas 
and new power - inspirations for art...
Now it's different... Other hobbies happen to be closer to me.
I'm really sad for allowing other hobbies to take priority over drawing.
If I draw one sketch a month, I think of myself as a happy person.
It's sick! And driving me crazy!!!
At some point of my "art live" I focused too much on
technique, other ppl skills, I started to think too much 
over drawing and I stopped enjoying it as it was before.

Now it's more like an obligation to myself, not a pleasure.
Over-thinking...It's like that for 5 years or so - I'm tired of it. 
I would like to get the pure joy of creating art 
without looking at others, without thinking
and trying to do something new and amazing!
I want to draw as before, all the time...

Please don't take it as self-pity, looking for your 
pity or words - "we love you anyway" XD
I just want to share this, maybe to open my own eyes for it.
I'm trying to understand what exactly happened with me
and I want to fix it.

Right now some pretty important changes
taking place in my life and soon everything will change.
Next year around November we are planing 
to go back to Poland -  to our homeland, family and friends.
I've got a feeling that this will help me with my art creativity :)
Anyway, soon I will write more about changes :)

Thanks for reading it and being here with me :)

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1 comments

  1. I have same with my writing. At some point I started to think more about HOW I write not that I write in particular. It started to bother me that it's not good, and concentrate on making it right not fun. Finding joy in hobby is a key, cause being politically correct won't get us far enough. making mistakes, trying new things drift us to new things, maybe not better but at least don't tie us down to one place. Saying, "don't care what other thinks" at this matter can be hard, even if we don't want to care, we do eventually. It's just a matter to care more what we think and feel. Avery artist has it's ups and downs, it can take one week or 10years, how long it is it's still frustrating, but I hope you'll find your way out from this point. Don't compare past to the present as well. It will never be like before, as we are older, have heavier experiences and more thoughts, not like we were teens. Stop thinking about it as duty, you don't have to make one sketch per day, nor per month nor per year. You CAN... but don't have to. You CAN do what you want and when you want, try to see fun in it.... like kids do. Goofy around, laugh at your lousy attempts and make them something cool instead. Today, tomorrow, next year... whenever you want. Putting pressure on yourself is what kills your joy. But I'm sure you know it already. others opinion is something you hear once or twice, your own voice is what you hear constantly. make it a nice voice.

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